Hello. My name is Whitney.
And I watch The Bachelorette.
[shame. embarassment. guilt.]
Yes, it’s true people. I watch it. It gives me joy! Joy, I tell you. Why should I be ashamed of something that leaves me with such pure exhilaration and excitement each and every week? I know one other person that is just as obsessed with this season of The Bachelorette as I am. And her name is… Joy. We usually text back and forth many, many (too many) times while both watching the episodes. She is actually dedicating a blog post to our Bachelorette viewing. So, we both watched it tonight and Skyped all our commentary from our respective couches like big nerds.
my Bachelorette watching snuggle buddy Willy
OK- so I thought I would dedicate a blog post to it as well. Only I would pair a wine with each of the final 3 dudes left. Because that is totally something I would do.
The Final 3 are…..
Roberto
OK… this guys oozes sex. And I’m pretty sure that is all Ali wants him for in the end. He’s a former pro baseball-er and from Florida. And he salsa dances…and speaks fluent Spanish. The dude is suave. And, uh- he’s hot.
Pairing- Rioja. One that has a tiny bit too much American oak on it. Smells of leather (baseball mit) and coconut (Florida suntan.)
Frank
Big. fat. loser. I am so over him…especially after the crap he pulled on tonight’s episode. He’s from Chicago and working in retail while he lives with his parents to be able to live the dream of being a screenwriter. And now he’s leaving the show to go be with his ex who is just as annoying as him. Snoozefest.
Pairing- something that is a bit fashionable. But annoyingly so. I would say an Austrian gruner vetliner that’s organic and with a label printed with soy based inks… and tears.
Chris
Oh Chris….how I love thee, let me count the ways. He’s from Cape Cod, a landscaper and a sweetheart. Yes, he stumbles with his words sometimes but, he’s All-American handsome and a family man. And would be, like, the husband of your dreams Ali- wake up!
Pairing: It’s gonna have to be domestic. A California red that’s timeless and classic but easy and not fussy. One that will never do you wrong. And is made by a family. A pinot…no, a syrah (perhaps by Saarloos & Sons.)
OK- Bachelorette blogging now ends. I promise.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Bachelorette contestant wine pairings! Brilliant. This is one of the funnier things I’ve ever read, if only because I’m at least as obsessed with the joy that is this trashy show as you are. I’m also equally ashamed.
oh. my. god. Whit you have stooped to a new low. Although I have a thing for the Apprentice (the British one of course) so I shouldn’t talk. But still…
PS. Is that Molly’s dog you’re pet-sitting?
OMG. I totally saw this a while ago and thought it was just hysterical! I can’t believe this is your blog… HAHA. This just made my day! Love it!… O the internet.
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